Saturday, June 18, 2011

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I must confess I really hate facebook but I just couldn't live without it.  It has destroyed friendships and family relationships. It causes so much drama and so many people read into it.

When I first started out as a Cheer Mom, Facebook didn't exist or if it did I wasn't on it.  I think we have Myspace back then but it was totally different.  It was just a way to connect and share pictures.  Now, it seems that Facebook is a way of communicating.  It is kind of a cope out.  Some people say things on Facebook that they are afraid to say to peoples faces.

I have heard from a lot of cheer moms this past month about how they have changed gyms and what has followed.  One Mom has had to endure nasty text messages to her children.  Facebook Statuses aimed at them.  But there is always the.....oh I wasn't talking about you.   How do you get it to stop?  Should the gym owners be doing something about it?  Should they just stay out of it?  It seems like there is so much more drama than their needs to be.  I feel like some people are on my facebook just to see what I am doing when we aren't even friends.  People get upset about being deleted. I would rather be deleted than stalked?!  What do you think?   Gym Owners and Coaches have so much on their plates these days should they really get involved in this stuff.  Come on, It's just Cheerleading? Right?

Is your cheer gym your whole world?  Does your life and your athlete's life revolve around the gym?  Or do you have other friends outside the gym?   A wise person once told me that I should make sure my kids make friends with people outside of cheerleading that have other interests.  She said it is a lot less drama.  I think she is right.  This summer, we are doing photography, golf and tennis.

Is there such thing as too much team bonding??  My daughter is 10 and on a senior team.  Most of the senior girls don't want to "bond" with the younger girls.   I totally get it but I would love to hear how it is in other gyms.  Some parents don't want their 10 year old bonding with the older girls and I get that too. 

Before you act on Facebook and post that status you are dying to post.....think about it a while.  You never want to burn a bridge in the Cheer World.  You never know, you might both end up in the same gym next season.  Ya never know?!  So, let's all play nicely on the cheer playground. 

Peacxe, Love & Cheer,


8 comments:

  1. Great Advice! In our new world of instant everything we need to really understand what it means to 'pause' & 'breathe' before we 'speak' our minds. Our minds should not rule us, we should rule our minds. The blog today represents that process, Thanks Lisa.

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  2. cleary you are too involved in your child's life. stop trying to live through her cheerleading days. for a second i forgot your were a mom and not actually on the team.

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  3. Well said! People need to realize that you cannot hear a tone of voice or inflection on FB or text messages. Speak to the person, dont be a coward. When we switched gyms, we were defriended by all staff and gym owners, just a little immature. Our kids are in the sport because of their love for it, dont ruin it for the kids.

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  4. Well said....my daughter recently switched to a new gym offering a great opportunity for her that her old gym didn't offer. We had a lot of fun at her previous gym and loved many kids, families and coaches there. We wrote a nice letter thanking them for the experience and assuring them we didn't have a problem with the gym. we never checked out any new gyms until after her season was over. Well, it all back-fired on us....my daughter received nasty text messages, a friend of mine let me read some nasty comments the owner said about us in a facebook message....lies to boot; I've heard about a lot of gossip pertaining to us and my daughter's abilities..it's all so uncalled for. In this case it seems to stem from the owner of the gym. We left in the nicest way we knew how and the point is my daughter was at the top of where she could go at this gym and along with most of the senior squad, she decided to try something new and more competitive. I think that a good word of advice would be for the owners and staff of gyms not to go the unprofessional route of using social media as a way to slam athletes and their familes because in our case, you're talking about an innocent twelve year old girl who took a ton of crap over trying something new. We too, were deleted from websights and pages associated with our old gym and a few friends stopped talking to us....like someone else said...all over my daughter moving on to a new opportunity. It makes me laugh! It's been a couple months now and my daughter is thriving at her new gym and growing like never before; she's over all the mean actions now and looking forward to her competition season with her new squad.

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  5. We are fairly new to the cheer world as my daughter has been a competitive gymnast for years. Boy what a change! And boy can people be nasty! I have never in my life run into nastier people - especially when you leave one gym to go to what you feel is a better fit for your daughter. We actually didn't plan on doing all-star at all next year (one year of drama was enough!), but certain things fell into place and we decided to give it a go at a different gym. I sent a nice note to her prior coach/gym owner to let them know, and I got a nasty email back that I was lying all along. We switched gyms before with gymnastics (always on good terms) and actually ended coming back to our first gym -- we've never seen this go on in gymnastics. It was always so amiable. It's so painful to be called a liar and a "dissenter" when it just isn't so -- but the rumors will spread. People will believe what they believe. Nothing I can do can channge that. I was going to respond back to her coach nicely explaining again, but I have decided otherwise. Let it be. They are negative awful people and we are better than them.

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  6. It's very sad, Facebook has caused alot of problems.
    Oh and just for the record, I don't think that you need to get a life- or that you are living thru her cheerleading days- BAHAHAHAHAHA some people crack me up.
    I ♥ you, I think your amazing, and I love reading your blog :)
    here's the link to my new one- shhhhhhh- I am trying to actully have one thing in my life that is not 100% cheer :)
    http://fantasticamazingkindadivamom.blogspot.com/

    ~Nikki

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  7. I am too involved in my child's life. I would rather be too involved than not involved enough. My daughter is 10 not 16. This is a blog about confessions. I must confess, I hated cheerleaders in High School. I confess it is not the sport I would choose for my daughter. If I was living through her, she would be a SOCCER player!

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  8. It's not Facebook that causes this problems. People caused that drama you are talking about.
    Social media websites are only tools that can be used for good or bad and it's entirely our choice. Saying that Facebook is bad is like saying a Hammer is bad because people can hit each other in the head with it.

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